Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The biggest challenge...

When i started to write this post, I wasn't sure if I would be able to Publish it, I mean, click the publish bottom it's pretty easy, or at least it should be, but when you're about to share something personal, it's like you froze for a moment, think about it, and then...you just do it, because, honestly, every single post you share in your blog is personal, it doesn't matter what the post is about, it's personal to you because it's your point of view. You share what you like, what you love, what you don't like, you share as much as you feel comfortable, but every tinny detail is about you.
I've never been the kind of person who is always worry for her look, or what people think about her. I don't know what is trendy, i don't buy fashion magazines, not celebrity magazines, NOTHING!, I mean, I do watch tv, but I can't tell you what a celebrity used for the academy awards. 
That said, i don't compare myself with others, I don't envy someone else's style. I don't let society standards about weight and image bother me. But then, you may ask why I'm writing this in the first place.
Well, here is the thing. A few years ago, I had a few problems, i had a gall stone about 2cm long -which was pretty big- and was causing me so many troubles.
By that time, I was doing my social service, after finish college, so i didn't have a job, and my parents didn't have the money for a surgery. So after talking with the doctor, she told me that I could life with it, if I made diet, and take extra care in which i eat.
So obviously I did it. I guess that was the extra healthy period in my life, because I was eating a very reduced list of food, don't drinking soda, or eating dairy, and I exercised daily (an hour of pilates)
My previous eating habits were terrible, always eating what I wanted. As a teenage i hated had breakfast at home, and my breakfast consisted in chips with lots of lemon and hot sauce, and a coke, sometimes i ate cucumber or carrots, with the same amount of lemon and hot sauce. I had weird ideas like introduce my finger in the mustard jar and suck it up, or made chilly balls, or drink chilly with lemon, yeah, so much acid and terrible ideas caused me gastritis and i ended up with colitis.
I had weird periods too in which i only drank coke (instead of water) or only drank coffee as a replacement of water.
I didn't have weight problems, i was pretty much in a normal weight for my age, completion and height.
So, after the gall stone problem, i changed everything about my diet -oh btw i'm a huge fan of salt, i put salt in all my meals, even before of taste if it's need it or not-. I got the fortune to star working in the place i currently work, and i got social security!, so after almost a year of diet and exercise, i had the surgery that i needed, the gall stone and the gallbladder were removed of my body, and i spent the next two month recovering. Of course i couldn't exercise during that period, and lazy as i am, i lost the habit of do it.
I came back too to my old bad habits about food, i could drink coke for the first time in a year, and eat chilly as much as my stomach let me. I was happy to be able to eat as much as i wanted, and i didn't feel regret, until one day that i ended up in ER for a horrible pain, yeah, the colitis manifested once more.
I made diet for two months, and then got back to the bad habits once more.
I had another breaking point, in which i drank coke as water, i mean literally i drank the thing morning, afternoon, evening, midnight, every single hour, i woke up in the middle of the night thirsty and went to the fridge and instead of drink water i used to drink more coke.
As the result i ended up once more in ER for an infection in the urinary track and grit in the kidney.
But even then, i didn't stopped. I made diet once more, didn't drink soda for 6 months, but after a while i returned to the bad habit, drinking water too to compensate my terrible choice.
During the period that followed the surgery in which i quit to exercise, i started to gain weight. At first it wasn't much, i mean literally, maybe a few pounds, nothing way to perceptible, but i knew. The good thing was that my cloths still fit me.
Then i gain more, and a few of my favorite cloths were kind of tight. Eventually they didn't fit. Now they didn't go up!
I gained so much weight, that sometimes i saw my face in the mirror and it's hard to recognize that it's me behind those big cheeks.
A couple of weeks ago, i started to notice something else, every time i have to climb a stair, is like my heart complains with the effort, and i've been waking up in the middle of the night because it cost me a little bit to breath.
Why do i let myself to get to this point, in which the small effort cause me headaches? 
Last friday, during my trip to six flags, i had to made a few stops because the effort of walk in the part was causing me tachycardia.
I know that you have to recognize the problem first, to accept it, and to be willing to change it. Well, i do it now.
I have a problem, my problem is the overweight that i gained the last couple of years. My problem is my terrible eating habits, my problem is that i drink too much soda and way to little water. My problem is that until a friday, i didn't care about it.
Friday was a wake up for me, specially when i found myself praying to God to let me came back home find, to gave me health and don't let me suffer a heart attack!.
All the weekend I've been thinking about it, and when I read Erin's update about her progress in her losing weight plan, it let me thinking more seriously about it, and then Alyx was so open about her weight too, but for Christ sake, this woman only gained 20 pounds because she was pregnant!, and she's working a plan to lose weight not only for health, but because she can't afford to buy new wardrobe after having a baby.
I feel ashamed because what's my excuse to let myself get to the point in which i'm now?.
So I'm working right now in the biggest challenge for me. My mom asked me for her birthday to lose weight. She's worry about my health too because my parents are diabetics, and all their family were too.
So yes, it's time to take action and recover control of this situation.
It's time to start a new chapter in my life, in which health would take the important place it deserves.
I'm not going to post about my progress daily, maybe once per week, but still, i'm going to add a page on the bar for it, so those who don't want to read about it, feel free to skip it.
Wish me luck in this new challenge, because i need to go from here:
to here






2 comments:

  1. Congrats girl!! That is truly amazing:) you look great and it will always take confidence so keep it up

    ReplyDelete

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