Saturday, November 5, 2016

Changes are good

 This week has been a journey. The work was ok, family life more than ok, but the struggle was myself and what I wanted to do. My job is a must needed of course, because I have resposibilities, I have payments to do, and so on. So quitting my job of course is not an option. Besides, I don't want to admit it, but I love my job, it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I'm in a comfortable position right now. I hate waking up super early, but I love having the afternoon for myself, and specially having the weekends completely free to work on those hobbies of's just that I don't want them to be only hobbies, I want more, is that bad? There's a point in your life in which you have to make the choice, only for fun, or take the things seriously. That's what happen this week.

I spend hours thinking on my blog, I've been neglecting it once more, I realized that I spend more hours working on my next video, my next review, my next book talk, bookshelf tour or book haul, than posting or preparing a proper post. Why was that?
Well, to be completely honest, is not that I didn't love blogging or I was losing my passion for it, it's that I've not been passionate enough. I was glad to realize that i was not the only one struggling with this. Just during the week, one of my favorite bloggers and youtubers Lydia from Lydia Elise Millen  talked about it in her blog, and like she so accurate mentioned, I felt like I lost my voice, and indeed I did.
I spend hours making a list of all the post that I make on the blog. The result was shocking, not only because it's pretty obvious that blogging was and always has been only a hobby for me, something that I love to do...when I'm bored, and I felt so angry and frustrated because sometimes I feel so unfair that new blogs or new youtubers have more success than I do, I work so hard for only have this small audience but then I stop short on my thoughts because the reality is that I don't work hard at all, I'm not even making a freaking effort. I'm just playing around, pretending to be a blogger and pretending to be a youtuber, but not being one really.
When you start a blog or a youtube channel, you know that you have to invest for results, find the perfect equipment or the one that is just affordable for you and still bring you the best quality possible.
Don't let me start on that point, I don't have a DSLR camera, but I have at least three good quality cameras that I don't even use, because most of the time the pictures that appear here or the videos that I upload are made with my 5th generation Ipod, not Iphone which has better camera, but the ipod which is a 5mp.

It's shameful to admit that when most bloggers who also have full time jobs like me complain about time, and they manage to take their pictures during the weekend, my job is so flexible that I have the aftenoon and weekends for myself, and what do I do? watch netflix and sleep or read. And then I remember the blog or the channel and I make a video or a post in the worst conditions, not even looking presentable, and that's it, I try to be creative with the thumbnail that I edit of course on the ipod and voilà! it goes live.

The journey I mentioned at the beginning of this post was to the past, and the experience was in some parts shameful but at the same time motivating...

I'm not ready to give up, I'm not ready to let my blog be only a book related blog, or let my channel stuck only on book related videos. I want more, I want a lifestyle blog and channel that reflects my personality, The journey I mentioned at the beginning of this post was to the past, and the experience was in some parts shameful but at the same time motivating, because it made me realize my major mistake, I'm not succesful enough because I don't take blogging or youtubing seriously, I don't even make the effort. I can have all the equipment  I can't affort, but they don't do magic for themselves. I bought a pretty computer with enough space for editing my videos and post, I even have lightroom and vsco present for Christ Sake but never use it.
Changes are scary, but you can't be afraid all the time, you can't stuck in your comfort zone if you want more, at least more than 83 subscribers on my channel and 142 followers on bloglovin, and only 40 views aprox on my post and 10 views aprox on my videos.
So I'm ready, ready to take the next step, to leave behind lazyness and all those excuses that I use most of the time.
Something that I noticed too, was how much I disliked my blog name, I was so bored with the childish tittle that I never liked in the first place. So I started with the template once more and from there I decided to take the next step. I was afraid, I'm not going to lie, but I finally did it, not only changed the template, but the name and the url.

the result was this:

I spend hours changeing or adding labels so they can appear on the categories at the top of the blog, which would make easier to navigate and find what you're looking for.
The next week is going to be brain storming

With a fresh look and a brand new attitude, the next step of course is better content, so the next week is going to be brain storming. I made a promise to myself, I'm going to use all the equipment I have, I'm not going to post book reviews only, I want something that reflects my personality, and certainly the previous blog wasn't working for me anymore.
I'm happy right now with the look, but like they say, you can't judge a book by the cover, some books have pretty ones but the story is terrible, that applies here too. I have the template and everything as I wanted, but now I need to focus on the content. so hope you join me in this same/new journey.
Happy Weekend!

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